Saturday, November 14

Love like you've never been hurt.

Pleas play this song

I feel sad. Not obvious kind of sad. But like I just realized the feeling flowing through my body is sadness.. Which is odd.. I have NOTHING to be sad about. My life is the best is has been for a really long time. Maybe I'm just emotional, but then why not happy emotional? Im really in a mood, neither negative nor positive.

Im listening to Lykke Li for the first time in a long time. I think she's the one artist that can get me in an immediate mood. It reminds me of the time right before summer, when I was very sad, but didn't stop up and notice it. I found out later the size of my grief. I was down, but denied to recognize it. It's over now, but it still haunts me.. It prevents me from doing the things I really in my deepest inner self want to do. It prevents me from loving. Fuck. It's the memory that wont go away. The thing that hurt you the most, and therefor cant let it go completely. It's stuck in the back of my brain. Sits there. Waits. Then, attacks my conscious right before its too late. Rings all the alarms. I want make it go away, but I think it's probably good to not let it go away completely. Talk about Stockholm syndrome.

I helped my grandparents move today. Imagine leaving a house you've lived in for 47 years. Saying good bye to all the thing you've collected through the years. See it vanish in a car driving away, knowing you'll never ever see those things again. Watching your life's collection crumble away. To night they'll sleep in the living room. It'll be the first time they wont sleep in the bed room for 47 years.


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